The Unrest

Some days
all I do is miss you
it comes out of the blue
like a star fell and burned
straight through my heart
and it’s all I can do
to get through the day
without your arms
reaching for me

and I miss the feel
of each individual finger
of your left hand
upon my chest
the way my left shoulder hurt
because that’s the side
you liked best
and I feel like
I will never rest again
even in my sleep
I’d never dream reality
would hold this type of
nightmare for me
when I wake each day
I never prayed
your soul to take
to anyone
or thing

Some nights
all I do is miss you
I miss the curves along your face
the smell of the triangular shape
between your jaw and ear
when I pulled you near
the way your eyes
were little twinkling sapphires
that I’ll forever chase
and you will always be the name
that’s firmly held between the places
where my heart skips a beat
i carry you with me
laying in the space we shared
how I am suffering
sweet child of mine
without you
in so many more ways than
I thought were possible


  1. Oh Julie
    Your words are so achingly beautiful that I feel captivated to continue reading yet raw and hurting by the emotion in them. And it feels strange to say “hurting” about reading of someone else’s grief but that is the feeling that best describes the emotion this elicits. If this can make a stranger hurt though, what then does a bereaved parent feel? I can’t begin to imagine and I surmise that words can’t even begin to describe the kind of ache that it is.

    You are always on my heart and in my prayers. Patrick is such a special child and you are such a special mother.

    One Love,


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