It seems clear a still pond in the morning temporary escape idyllic picture in your head that makes you want to stay But when you jump in everything muddles around you the ripple effects carry on things and those you love have no choice but to be pushed away At first the cool is refreshing contrast to … Continue reading
Author Archives: Julie
personal crap / poetry / progress / self care
The Artist
Meet me at the place where your love for yourself slightly outweighs your love for your family and me for sour and spicy things for drawing and ways to escape Meet me with eyes and no words where we know that we’re heard honestly without shame this is not a fucking game but the ball is fully in your … Continue reading
life cycles / love / personal crap / poetry / poetry
Unwise Whys
Is it my need for presence that promotes your absence? My forward honesty the fabric for your loophole manipulations? Is it her face you see when you’re holding me or is it that I am the everything you’ve wished she was and that you find that terrifying? How can you just not speak and watch … Continue reading
activism / autonomy / circumcision / circumcision / education / health / intactivism / learn something / parenting / postpartum / progress / RIC / shame
I Am Not Anti-Circumcision
It doesn’t make sense not to learn about. If you’ve been holding back from learning about routine infant circumcision (RIC), I encourage to ask yourself why and remind you that there is absolutely no shame in education. Continue reading
depression / fridays / grief / patpatforever / personal crap / progress / PTSD / SUDC / triggers
Holding Space
Holding space for my own pain is the hardest part about right now. It’s difficult as fuck. I mean, there’s a lot to my current situation, but allowing the sadness of many layers of it to really be felt is highly uncomfortable to say the least. Like, the “not getting out of bed for two … Continue reading
cancer / grief / loss / love / patpatforever / personal crap / progress
Cactus Practice
It’s like I can’t remember what happiness looks like. Well, maybe that’s not it. It looks something like all my living children under my roof and the house a lived-in level of clean, healthy food to eat and access to nature. My bills are paid, my debt is relatively low, my living children are happy, … Continue reading
People React to Being Called Beautiful
Because Meliorism Monday. Because dammit, you’re beautiful. Because I don’t have better words and I want to hug the world. Follow my board on how humans are making the world better here: Continue reading
grief / patpatforever / poetry / progress / SUDC
Flag
I want to scream at the sky for all the reasons I can’t know why can’t have prevented can’t prevent now for myself or anyone else walking into that sight It’s in my head and in my heart every single fucking day every hour, every minute all the things that I can’t change I don’t … Continue reading
grief / patpatforever / poetry
Blues
What you were just for a moment when I first beheld you tiny paper fingernails eyes as deep as the cosmos a perfect latch intact tiny care bears on your hat love between you and I like the sky The gendered normative of your gifted toys your favorite blanket the music you liked a spectrum … Continue reading
community / grief / patpatforever / progress / SUDC
SUDC Matters
It’s been 140 weeks since Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood took my son and we’re in the last week of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. The more I’ve sat with those two thoughts and tried to participate in activities geared toward the latter, the more I feel that they aren’t really related; the C … Continue reading
