What you were
just for a moment
when I first beheld you
tiny paper fingernails
eyes as deep as the cosmos
a perfect latch
intact
tiny care bears
on your hat
love
between you and I
like the sky

The gendered normative
of your gifted toys
your favorite blanket
the music you liked
a spectrum of life
light and sounds
in 24 pounds
a whirl of
stickiness and sleepless nights
delight and curiosity
exasperation and wonder
until that’s

What you were
when I walked in
and I’ll never know
the reason
and I never got
to hold you warm again
though I rocked you
until we were both cold

You left
with my handprints
on your skin
and yours left
in my heart

Blue
is what I am
without you