grief / patpatforever / personal crap / poetry

Daydream

activist stareI want a giant iron
to smooth over all the wrinkles
in this wretched system
a psychic microscope
all must pass through
who enter those gates
from any angle
a deflective umbrella
made of Care Bear stare
to hold over those I love
to protect them
when it all falls down
and cupcakes to give
as I sit down beside them
and say wow
it’s bad out there
yet all I can do
is write

I want to tell her
I know how sorry you are
that you never meant
for it to be
this way
for her to know
that I still see light in her eyes
when she looks at that child
that I see she is broken
and I know how it feels
to really know
that life is kind of like that
and then get up
put that in your pocket
and keep moving
because you can
you can
you really can
I promise
and we’re all here
waiting
maybe for truth
and apologies
but mostly for
the woman
you’ve been hiding
but all I can do
is write

I want to tell him
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry
I was such a shitty teenager
that I didn’t check my oil
that I learned integrity
gentleness and generosity
from you
and I can tell
your mother misses you
like I miss my own son
and I hope
in some way
that you two
have some sort of
magnetic soul tag
from how deeply
I will always love you
like a bat signal
on another plane
that brings you
to a place where my love
touches where you are
together
and for you to know
as deeply as I feel
how much
you are loved
and missed here
where all I can do
is write

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