V-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named

There has somethingvelied, unseen, undiscussed in our world. It is one of the most powerful forces on earth; so powerful warshave been waged all throughout history just for its favors, there are books, classes, lives dedicated to knowing it better. It is everywhere; your house, stores, books, TV, your own mother. Unfortunately, dear reader, this isn’t fantasy and there IS such a V-word that apparently, is illegal to name. Though I could be talking about the evil LordVoldemort of recent Harry Potter mania, the V-who-must-not-be-named here is very real, and very powerful… and apparently, just as unwelcome in public speech.I just read this story about how the very mention of “The ‘V’ word” got Lisa Brown, a female legislator banned from speaking on House floor. So, what, pray tell, was this word that made grown men offended and uneasy and banish its speakers for its utterance? This unmentionable word must surely have some power if grown man can’t stand the sound of it.So what’s this controversial, “offensive”, taboo word?

Vagina.

Vagina!?! Are you fucking kidding me? I am going to prepare a coffin for Reason as soon as I am done typing. It’s enough that I have been have banned from Facebook because my breasts are forced to battle for the freedom to be used for their intended purpose, when & where that need occurs, but at least I can say breast and nipple. So far.

We can’t even SAY ‘vagina’ in public?? 
“It’s the women. They’re talking about trying to gain control of their bodies again.”
What, like this? Vagina VAGINA VAGIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAA!! (That last one was singing. Singin’ about my ladyparts, here, folks. That’s what I’m doing behind my laptop.) Check here for 25 Republican Approved Ways to Say ‘Vagina’ Without Offending Political Pussies . What language to they expect on the senate floor? God’s Stab Wound? Schmegina? Penis House? Should I march in there and tell them they can shove it up their chocolate starfishes?? ::ahem:: okay, the “punk” part of me is finished. For now.) 
Excuse me while I wait for my glasses to unfog from the steam coming out of my ears.

Brown expressed her own incredulity in a rapidly scheduled press conference:

“If I can’t say the word vagina, why are we legislating [on] vaginas?” she asked. “What language should I use?” 
Calm down, it’s only a flower.

It’s clear to me that policymakers do not realize how many breasts and vaginas there are on this planet. How do those men think they got here, anyhow? Do they still believe in Santa? Are there delicate sensibilities of people making our laws that they are trying to protect from 7th grade health class facts? Sorry to break it you, Senators. I didn’t come from your rib: YOU CAME FROM A VAGINA. (VAGIIIIINAAAAA!!!) I’m going to become like Brick on “The Middle” and just whisper “vagina” after every sentence now.

If there were men talking circumcision law on the Michigan House floor, would they be banned for saying penis? I am JUST as concerned with the right to say penis as I am the right to say elbow, cerebellum, or spinal cortex in public. Or, you know, vagina. (VAGIIIIINAAAAA!!!) If they didn’t want to hear about it, that sure backfired- ‘vagina’ (VAGIIIIINAAAAA!!!) is now on the titles of plenty of news publications this morning.

Why they hell is it not okay to talk about our bodies?? Um, I don’t know if you know this, oh college-graduate House members, but you’ve all got naked bodies with variously named parts under those clothes- as much as I never, ever want to visualize that.

Is that what’s happening? They start visualizing vaginas and suddenly can’t concentrate? Or is the mention of the word is somehow offensive to them? Why? I don’t understand. This points to another sweeping issue I can’t wrap my mind around; How am I supposed to be able to raise daughters with healthy body images in a country where the mere mention of their female parts are perceived and accepted as offensive? Are they going to get expelled for asking a health teacher about menstrual cycles? It would be the same offense- speaking about body parts in a setting specifically designed FOR discussion.

The attempt to suppress even the mention of certain body parts should be one hell of a red flag for the twisted state of our social structure. America is NOT as liberal and certainly not as progressive as we think we are. Women have long been markedly absent from the abortion debate and this is sign things are NOT headed in the right direction. As far as I know people with penises (aka: men) will never have an abortion, so I’m not sure why they’re in control of the issue at all, let alone in charge of the mere discussion of said topic. How did the other women that were present feel? Someone please explain this to me.

Dammit, my glasses are fogged again.

All I’m trying to say is this:

VAGINA:
If you can’t say it, 
don’t legislate it. 
This has been a public service WTF by The Progressive Parent.
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