There are no words for how it feels for a phoenix to burn alive What it takes to make spark from ashes embracing embers every cell combusting fire born within There are no words only knowing the smoldering touch between beginning and end love and pain fullness and ache The miracle of surrendering into our … Continue reading
It’s been 122 Fridays since I last held my littlest love. I count because I can’t help it. I count because he’s my son and he’ll never stop mattering to me. I count because numbers are something real that makes sense to me, unlike his absence, unlike SUDC. Patrick should be three and a half … Continue reading
There was a post going around a while ago on how having or being a stay at home parent isn’t a luxury and I agree: the word you’re looking for there is privilege. To even be a part of that conversation presumes the privilege of having a two-parent household to begin with. Having a spouse … Continue reading
Progress doesn’t always feel like progress… it rarely comes in leaps and bounds, though at times it goes skipping and is usually found on indirect, untrodden paths. Sometimes, a lot of times, it’s all most of us can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, yet inevitably, eventually, we look up and turn around and realize we’re not where we … Continue reading
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” – Brene Brown Authenticity is one of the things I’ve been trying to put my finger on behind … Continue reading
I did something I’ve never done yesterday- I wrote a superquick post for Peggy O’Mara’s birthday and walked away from the computer. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it hadn’t been regarding someone I admire so greatly, and if I hadn’t had to make a 5 hour trip to Sacramento and back and … Continue reading
We get the tang of it before the hang of it; the two are polar sides of the same hidden end of grief. The instant parents lose a child, we gain armament in equal weight to the love we hold, and it serves as the vessel through which each of us will not only … Continue reading
It’s Thanksgiving and I can’t seem to stop shifting from sadness beyond measure, gratitude, and complete nothingness. At least gratitude is there, although the latter seems to be the most present. The writing just isn’t happening. I have to rewrite every sentence, sit and think, have nothing to say then decide to just say that, … Continue reading
Corner to corner
sock to sock
Minecraft shirt, right
neon print, left
coffee
flannel shirt, right
play dress, left
stop
pastel dinosaurs Continue reading
Each morning with the growing light My eyes constricting from the sight I fumble back from dreamless night A lightning bolt within me strikes and I know that something is just not right A reverse process begins within my frame Every day since the one has started much the same My thoughts fall through the … Continue reading
