Holding space for my own pain is the hardest part about right now. It’s difficult as fuck. I mean, there’s a lot to my current situation, but allowing the sadness of many layers of it to really be felt is highly uncomfortable to say the least. Like, the “not getting out of bed for two … Continue reading
Trigger warning: child loss When my father died, there came a cold, permanent reminder that sometimes, life is too short, and that death can come far too unpredictably, too soon. With Patrick’s death came the reality that my best, most difficult, lengthy, impassioned efforts that I couldn’t possibly care more about or pour more of … Continue reading
So this is what happens when I try to sit down and write in the morning: “_____________________ … Shit. I can’t think. Maybe it will help if I light some candles. Okay. I’m going to do this. Here goes. Open Firefox aaannnd… Facebook! Wait shit, no, not Facebook. Songza. Okay. ‘Downtempo Instrumentals’ sounds good, I hope … Continue reading
I had a dream when I was up at my grandparents last weekend that I don’t want to lose, even though it tears me apart, puts me to shame, and brings regret bubbling to the surface to rear its ugly head moreso than almost anything I can recall. It’s not that it was a nightmare, at … Continue reading
I was reorganizing in the kitchen today and found Patrick’s food mill… Over half of the food that ever went into his body was made by my hands with it. He loved sweet potatoes- I used to call him my little sweet potato, especially after letting him touch/explore what was left after eating. (aka: wipe … Continue reading
Corner to corner
sock to sock
Minecraft shirt, right
neon print, left
coffee
flannel shirt, right
play dress, left
stop
pastel dinosaurs Continue reading
February 8th is a hard date for me. Now that it’s not impending and looming over me, allow me to attempt to describe the first one’s impact on me and my life and why I know how many Fridays it’s been since. On Friday, February 8th 2013, I went through a nightmare I thought at … Continue reading
