love / personal crap / poetry / poetry

Impending

I don’t want to lose you
he says
eyes of the earth and sea
pleading longingly
But you will
I say
every day
For I am not possession
but self possessed

I can’t help but
lose myself
in what’s routine or novel
to get lost exploring
music or nature
ideas and questions
causes and creations
and emotional spaces
that just need to be

At times I am lost
in waves of grief
for what
and whom
is truly gone
and can never be
I lose myself
to anxiety
walking circles in the dark
when I need to see
your porch light on
my northern star
because you
to me
are home

Losing me is the one thing
I can guarantee
and if we’re as lucky
as two people can be
at the end
it will be to age
and leave you
devastated
and grateful

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